Of course I know what it means to have a heavy heart.  I may act stupid from time to time, but the fact is I am not retarded.  Well, most of the time that is…

No.  I know what “It is with a heavy heart…” means because today, I have a heavy heart of my own.

When I started this blog, it was kind of meant to share a bit about the stories I had written myself, and published on eroticstoriesdotcom.

Seeing as the reality of life crept up and violated me in the ass, I had to abandon my illustrious career as amateur writer.  Work is a bitch.  Getting to work and from work takes up 3 hours of my time. Keeping in mind that it is traffic all the way, by the time I get home I am so bushed it is not even funny anymore.  No matter how much I had forced myself, no matter what tricks I have tried, it all came back to the fact that I simply did not have the energy left to fire up my imagination enough to continue writing.

The effect of all this:  A shitload of half written stories that just died.

Today, as I logged into this blog, I took one look at my stats (or serious lack thereof) and realized:  This blog is going nowhere.

It is sad, really.  But I have to face the truth here.  Putting effort into a blog that is dead is like flogging a dead horse.

It is pointless.

So… I have one last review to write for this blog.  I think it is quite appropriate that the swan song for this site is a review for an author I consider a favorite of mine.  I guess this will be done in a week or so.

So for now…

Click to go buy!!!

Apparently, from all the information I am getting from the net, it is clear:  Selena Kitt is swimming in money.  If she is not, I am questioning the sanity of this world.

If you ask me, I cannot even remember if I bought (paid money for) or got Connections for free on Amazon.  (It is a legit copy.  Not pirated, because, you know, piracy is bad)

Anyhow…

Look.  I am not the heaviest handed reviewer out there.  I say this because I have to make something clear, and not offend any of the authors I have reviewed.  I have enjoyed every book that I have read and reviewed.  And based on the satisfaction and pleasure I got from these books, they deserved the rave reviews they got.  I am, nor will I ever be, an ‘academic’ reviewer of books.

With that said though, I have to admit that after reading Connections by Selena Kitt, the bar has been raised for myself as a reader/part-time reviewer.

The following is taken from Selena Kitt’s author profile on Smashwords:

“Selena Kitt is a bestselling and award-winning author of erotic fiction. She is one of the highest selling erotic writers in the business. With half a million ebooks sold in 2011 alone, she is the cream-at-the-top of erotica!”

That is some serious high praise indeed.  I am a bit of a sceptic, I will be honest.  Blurbs like that are a dime a dozen, and anyone with half a brain can write something that will make you sound magnificent.

The proof is in the pudding, so they say.

So, how was my very first taste of Selena Kitt?  (Her story, that is)

Okay.  Let me be blunt.  I loved Connections. A lot.  It had a damn good original story that did not include filthy rich men, vampires or werewolves.  It was about a girl called Cathy, with a love for phone books and a love for dialing random numbers from them.  Oh, and she loves to not say anything at all.

Bam!  Thank you very much.  10/10 for an original plotline.

Cathy’s story is such an exquisitely written one, really.  I do not want to say that her story touched me, that is so bloody cliche.  Instead, I found it beautiful.  I found myself loving this great feeling I got reading this book.  Warm and fuzzies, really.  And sympathy really.  Cathy’s story was a bittersweet one, from where I sat reading it really.

Like all stories, every one needs a hero.  Seth is the guy that manages to catch our Cathy off guard with a line that still puts a smile on my face whenever I think of it.

Dialogue forms an integral part of the story, and Selena seems to have a knack for writing dialogue that is easy to read, but again I am feeling the need to use the word beautiful.

Again, this is me, but I found Cathy to be quite vulnerable, but with a witty side to her as well.  And all this is carried across in the conversations she has, with her mother, with Seth.  All and all very well written.

As I have said, Selena Kitt definitely raises the bar in erotica reading for me personally.  I have to say that Connections are one of my favorite shorts, and would have loved to have this as a print edition in my book collection.

I loved it.

Final Score:

So… On Friday, I had to take my Chery for a service.  (My car, not my girlfriend)  I got it all figured out.  Drop the car off for its service, spend some time making breakfast, maybe watch a movie and get down reading some decent smut.  All because, you know, I have been blessed with a good few reads that I cannot wait to sink my claws into.

Being a cold weekend, it was the ideal weather as well.  Curled up in bed, armed with a Kindle and some hot coffee.  What could possibly go wrong?

Well, apparently a few things:

Influenza, for one.  Yup.  There is nothing worse than going for a nap, all fine and dandy and then waking up with a blocked nose.  It’s then that you realize your weekend plans are ruined a bit.  oh, the blocked nose was just the beginning.  A few hours later, the body aches set in.  The stuffy head, the coughs.  All those lovely things that we love so much about the flu.

And let’s be honest, who wants to read erotica when you feel like you have been trampled by a herd of elephants dancing the tango?  Not me.

No sirree.

Please step forward Miss Selena Kitt.  I am currently reading Connections and wow.  I cannot wait to finish this short.

I know it is a short story, but really.  It is such a beautifully written story, I cannot wait to get home tonight and finish it.

After that?  Well… I found that another favourite of mine released a new book.  Then I am going to dive  into that like a shark in a… in a… in a…  oh shoot!

Think about it… if you find the guy/girl you are about to get hot and heavy with as ugly as sin, is that not kind of a turn off?

I tend to get depressed at times.

Like the last few weeks.

What may come as a bit of a surprise is how I tend to deal with depression:

I listen to Christian metal.  No.  Really.

Do not judge me.  I am not about to start blogging sermons, if that is what you are worried about.

One song in particular cheers me up a bit.  It is by a band called One Bad Pig, and the song is called ‘For a Good Man’ found on their album ‘I Scream Sunday’

If you read this, do yourself a favor and go listen to a sample of the song on iTunes.  I do not want to convert you to the Christian faith.  I am in no position to do that.  My days as an evangelist came and went.

I respect you, the reader as a human being to make your own decisions, to follow your own religion or not.  Depending on yourself.

I will never preach on this blog.  I am sharing a song…

Below is the lyrics from For a Good Man.  Read it.  It is not preachy at all…

Little boy lived in fear
He won´t be afraid no more
Trembl3ed when his dad came near
Now lays lifeless on the floor
What do you do for this child of strife
What would you give to save his life

Chorus:
Might care to cry for a good man
Might care to fight for a good man
Might dare to die for a good man
So where´s a good man you can find

Helpless mother did not speak
Turned her head and shut her eyes
His power made her feel so weak
Now alone with the shame she cries
What do you do for this frightened wife
What would you give to save her life

Might care to cry for a good man
Might care to fight for a good man
Might dare to die for a good man
So where´s a good man you can find

Father, he lost all control
Lost his freedom, lost his soul
At his wrist he holds a knife
Now what would you give to save his life

for a good man
Might care to fight for a good man
Might dare to die for a good man
So where´s a good man with no blame
The best and worse of us the same
Jesus saves us from all shame
Our shame
From all shame...

For his fifteenth anniversary they gave him a very uncomfortable leather chair.  Really.  I sat on that thing and my arse laid a charge of indecent assault against me.

He left, eventually.  Said he got bored.  And that his heart was not always in it as it was five years ago.

In a way, I can sympathize with this guy.  Ten years on, and the challenges of life and career are basically non existent.  I have been going about my life on auto pilot for a good few years now.  Wake up, shower, traffic, work, traffic, dinner, shower, bed.  Repeat for 10 years and you get where I am.

Yup.  Not the happiest of places, yet not the worst.  I could be unemployed, face starvation… Those are the alternatives.

But really.  What got me was this.  The company I work for, are the leaders in their field. I do not fancy myself working for the competition, as honestly, they are a good few years behind us.  And starting from the bottom, working my way up again to where I am currently does not hold any appeal to me.

So I guess, thanks to my own need for job security, I am stuck a bit.

But I thought about this guy that came here, told me he was working for a reseller now.  Doing fixes on data and the like.

It struck me.  Twenty years from now, I could still be in this boat.

Grinding, grinding, grinding.

Answering the same mundane questions I do everyday.  Working with people that great as though they are, sometimes leave a bit to be desired.

The question I am putting forward to the galaxy tonight is this?  Do I want that????

Ever had a day where you kind of wish that you were dead, but not really?  I want to die.  But also want to live…

I dunno if it is just me, but if IT is the only book by King I would ever read, I would swear this guy has something against children.

But King?  This guy manages to get under my skin.  I can watch horror movies till it comes out my ears.  I have no problem with them.  I can shrug it off, go to bed and sleep like a lamb.

But King?  There were a few times I had to put the book down and go look at the pretty little flowers out in the garden.  And pray to God that I am not attacked by a crazed clown called Pennywise.

But still, tonight I will be reading IT again.

So, how do you balance the fear and horror instilled by King when going outside is not an option?  Because, y’know it is dark outside, and creepy, and you are not sure if it was the wind or insane clown laughter?

Why, you read Lucky Break, by Liliana Rhodes, of course.  I started reading it a few days ago, and managed to squeeze it in between my readings of IT, but I am kinda getting into it round about now, so I may put IT on hold and read Lucky Break and hopefully finish it soon.

It is a good read so far, and will hopefully be able to put up a review of it in the next week or two.

But in the meantime, you can check out Liliana Rhode’s Amazon page here.

You can also find reviews of her books here, here and here